Motherhood is hard (understatement, I know). When you’re pregnant, no one shares the times you’ll endure the trenches. You know – those sleepless nights you’ll have until the end of time (not really, but it feels like it). No one comes alongside you and whispers encouragement for the days when you’re elbow deep in dirty diapers, food-crusted dishes, and vomit-filled laundry. NO. They let you know life will be wonderfully filled with baby giggles, snuggles, ornate nursery decor, and family nearby to help.
You choose to go back to work, but nothing changes. Coming home means being greeted with more dishes, laundry, and dinner you’re too tired to cook. You still have sleepless nights.
You choose to stay home because you want to nurture your littles and not miss a thing. Well, that’s good because you’re in the heart of every tantrum, every blowout diaper, and every strand of yogurt painted hair. You’re in the trenches, Momma. It’s tough, lonely, and you’re sinking.
Ask For Help (You Can’t Do It All)
As women, it’s very difficult to ask anyone for help. As Mothers, I think it’s even harder. There’s a stigma in our society that asking for help means admitting we’re not the “Perfect Mother.” I’m here to say (along with others, I’m sure) that’s OKAY! We’re not perfect, nor should we be expected to be. In fact, we must redefine what perfect even means.
If perfect means a completely spotless kitchen, no dirty laundry, and a five-star dinner on the table, then I don’t want to be perfect. Frankly, if I were perfect, I’d miss so much. Don’t be afraid to grab someone you trust and confide in them, “Hey, I’m drowning and I need help.”
Invest In Simple Self-Care
Again, as Mothers, we feel guilty when we take the least bit of time for ourselves. Someone once shared with me that a lack of self-care is quite dangerous. Mothers give and give all day long, every day of the week. If we don’t have enough energy stored up to give, we simply can’t. There’s only so long we can go before something gives and it’s usually us.
I completely understand there are seasons of life when we’re busier than normal. We want to give the best to our families, right? But, we can’t do that when we’re not at our best. Investing in simple self-care allows us to recharge and fill up so we’re ready to pour out. I’m not talking about long, luxurious bubble baths every night (one can’t hurt though) or hours shopping at Target. I’m just talking about planning a few minutes each day to recharge. Here are a few ideas:
- Reading a book
- Taking a walk
- Drinking a cup of tea or coffee while you sit in the quiet
- Doing your nails
- Watching a few minutes of your favorite show
The important thing is to find something that you enjoy and make time for that each day.
Remember You’re Not Alone
There’s always going to be an excuse as to why you can’t do something you love. Free yourself from the “Mommy Guilt” and focus on your family’s well being by focusing on your own. Motherhood is tough, but it’s also glorious and rewarding. Before babies arrive, no one shares with you how lonely you’ll feel.
I understand! I’ve been there many times and there are times I still am. Don’t be afraid to confide in someone you trust. You’ll be surprised to know they’ve been there too or they’re walking the same path with you.
If you’re feeling stuck in the trenches, don’t despair! There’s hope for you. I’d love to chat with you anytime. You’re not alone.